Equilibrio- An Introspective look

Balance. Equilibrio. Something that has defined my life- the lack of and constant search for balance.

 It seems to me that my constant struggle has been between excess or lack.

Thinking too much or not thinking at all. Being selfish or sacrificing too much. Exercising too hard or not enough. Eating too little or too much. Wanting too much or not demanding enough. Crossing the line or not standing up for myself. Having too much fun or not enough. A battle of extremes has defined much of my existence.

 But where is that proverbial line in the sand? And once found; how do we keep it?

 Some of us do yoga to achieve that om. Some of us read self-help books. Some of us go to Spain to teach English.

It’s not something you can learn in an afternoon, a week, a month or even a year. And funny how the same things that you struggled with in North Carolina resurface in SpainJ 

 In many ways, the Spanish culture has helped me greatly in regards to balance. The “little by little” mentality has allowed me to love myself where I am. With a little help from my friend Alex, I have begun to learn that one mistake doesn’t define me. That we have good days and bad days, and seasons or “temporadas” of life.

 For me, after arriving in Galicia, alone and scared, I focused on exercise, something that had always come naturally to me and that I could quantifiably control. But I crossed the line from doing something good for myself on a regular basis, to using exercise as a measure of my worth. “Oh, I need to do more than I did yesterday or I’m a sloth.” “My body might be tired, but I’ll be happy in the end once I’ve burned all those calories.” I actually thought that if I didn’t run as much as I did in college and stay in tip top shape, I was a failure. But as I see it now, the body is a pretty amazing thing, capable of taking you on runs through new places and discovering beautiful things for your eyes to see. An amazing tool. You take care of it, and it will bless you tenfold. As for me, I would rather exercise for enjoyment and health, and enjoy all the delicious food there is, than be a slave to something.

 Because the problem friends, is that once you allow obsession to take over one area of your life, you seem to lose your joy, and lack in other areas of your life. For me, when I do things with joy instead of force or obligation, the rest seems to fall into place.

 As Americans, and especially this American, we think too much. If there’s one thing the Spaniards have mastered, it is the art of living in the moment and being content where you are. Not once will you see a Spaniard lost in thought while in a group- they are constantly participating, constantly expressing, constantly living. And honestly, isn’t overthinking a selfish handicap? A way to put the attention on yourself when you’re afraid of living in the moment?

 The same goes with relationships. And let me tell you- you think relationships are difficult, but imagine them when you’re dealing with a different set of cultural values and a different language. The difference between the two sexes becomes an ocean of misunderstanding and unintentional hurt.

I am now dealing with the loss of my best friend here. We are in a state of false friendship, where we are “friends” but all of our interactions are false and forced. For from my enthnocentric perspective, the Spanish way of dealing with misunderstandings or hardships is to smile and act as if nothing has happened. Even as everything has changed. And for all of those who know me, I am incapable of hiding my true emotions. But what can you do? As I have learned, sometimes no measure of explaining can bridge the gap or change the mind of someone who has made their mind up. Words can be futile devices, especially when ethnocentrism plays a part.

 But sometimes you just have to accept the way things are and that as much as you yearn for things to be different; like they were before- it’s not in your control. So you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and open yourself up for all the good things to come.

And perhaps treat yourself to a new bikini, some new rollerblades, or just Disney Princess bubbles. Obviously turning 24 doesn’t change a thing… Thank goodness.J   

Ick sprecka ze English?

Hallo!! No, I didn't just spell "hello" wrong- that's how the Germans say it:) Ya ya!

I just got back from an amazing 6-day trip to Germany with my friend Courtney, another Auxiliar de Conversacion living in a town close to mine. We didn't technically have time off, but we found an amazing deal on tickets to Frankfurt through Ryanair, so we decided to "aprovechar" or take advantage of the situation.:)

It took just stepping off the plane to notice that Germany is worlds apart from Spain in culture, food, people, philosophy, mentality... basically everything! In fact, I saw a lot more similarity with the U.S. in Germany.

1. Everything works! While in Spain, technology is a decade or so behind on most things and social ties are far more important than efficiency; Germany is one of the world leaders in this area. Metros are clean and on time, bus drivers don't stop the bus to chat with a friend or run personal errands (cough cough Spain:)... in short, it was lovely!

2. Germans are much more quiet and private than the Spanish. When I first arrived in Boiro, I was amazed at how people of all ages are perfectly content to yell to one another in the street, talk loudly on buses and in stores... what would be considered rude in the U.S. is perfectly acceptable and encouraged in Spain! In fact, people often tell me to speak louder haha. Germany was much more comparable to the U.S. in this aspect- people spoke quietly, were quiet on public transport and perhaps from my experience in Galicia, I felt like the loud one!

3. Food. I have to say, American might be the leader in obesity, but the Germans might be next with their diet and portions. I'm not complaining, it was amazing! In Spain, people eat fairly small portions and "picar" or snack throughout the day. An altogether healthy eating style. Also, in the culture of "disfrutar", enjoying, everyone sits down to eat as it is a pleasurable social event. I have never seen anyone eating on the go, except for perhaps an apple or a kid with a sweet. In most aspects, I have liked this... it has taught me to enjoy my food and be more mindful of how much I'm eating. But sometimes, you just want to eat a sandwich or a pastry on  a park bench! Courtney and I took advantage of this social norm in Germany. Grabbing a truffle and cappucino to go, eating a sandwich outside a cafe, it was wonderful!:)

Germany part 1, more to come soon:)

Un beso,
CMC

And I'm back in the game!

Yes friends, I'm still alive... After flying home for Christmas and flying back to Spain, I'm happy to say that I'm happy to be back.

Looking out my window at the beautiful blue sky, I'm counting several blessings:
1. It has rained only once since I've gotten back! Truly a miracle for Galicia. I've been lucky to come back to blue skies and 10-15 degree weather (Celsius of course. That's 50-59 degree weather for all you Americans out there:)
2. The wonderful people I work with. It's so nice to come back to a relaxed atmosphere where the other teachers are fun and genuinely interested in my wellbeing! It's kind of crazy how much of a difference there is between the mentality here and in the U.S. I instantly feel uptight when I'm around the other teachers, yet have quickly started to adapt the que seras attitude... because after all folks; whatever will be, will be.:)
3. The children at Abanqueiro school. True, a cloud of elementary girls surrounding you every time you walk through the door can be a bit draining, but I'm thankful to have that problem. Gift count for the last two weeks: 5 clovers, 1 callalily, 1 picture of a cougar, and the list just seems to keep on growing. God just keeps the blessings coming!
4. A sense of belonging. Despite my rough start in Boiro, and the rickety path following... I've returned with a sense of peace and contentment about living here. I feel less like the solitary English-speaker in Boiro, and more like the local English teacher. I feel more confident in my teaching role and am getting to actually enjoy being here. Sometimes you just have to shake yourself and say "hey! quit worrying and being a wuss- you're in SPAIN for crying out loud! Disfrutalo (Enjoy it)!" That perfect cafe con leche and pastry from Confiteria Sonia, runs through the Galician countryside with new friends, walking down by the beach with Alex- God is loving me in new ways every day.

And I'm trying to love my students in new ways too! I've noticed a lack of emphasis on creativity in Abanqueiro, so i'm trying to introduce that with the activities I plan. I think working the creative muscle is just as important as teaching the kids English. Mom gave me a cool book about making shapes out of salt dough, so I thought I'd aprovechar (Spanish verb meaning "to take advantage of an opportunity." I've probably heard this word about as much as "hola" here. The Spanish love to aprovechar.:) In third grade, we made different foods out of dough. The kids just get so excited about simple things, and I think they were ecstatic to do something different. One kid named Dani made a churro, but hey at least he was working that creative muscle.

Well, I'm all talked out, but more to come soon! Muchos besos y abrazos de Espana:) Vaya con Dios.